婆罗双树之园

We’re growing to be another brick in the wall .Hundreds of millions of toils are embedded in the Great Wall, as well as “ the wall” embodies the greatest inspiration of the talented musician. As we were, we are borned to be trained to constitute it , replace the failed bricks as well as defending its stablity to our best.

 Morality breaks down when it confronts to thugs. Education falls apart in front of the rednecks. Intergrity misfunctions when it comes to businessmen, ingenuity collapses in ragard to the idealists’ case. we are brought together in one wall tangibly while actually intangibly we are so separated. If there weren’t cements gluing us , we might’ve celebrated somewhere for freedom. On the contrast, we deeply rely on this wall, no brick can be scared of whereas bricks shut out the invasion.

 Friends are handpicked when collegues are given. This wall of social occupation defends the benefit of corporation which is built bigger and taller. On the bottom of it, we are over-burdened and irreplaceble until we fall out. On the top of it, we are shaky and carefree till we are backlogged anew.

 Family is always the wall of the almshouse and shelter for our exhausted bodies and minds. How blessing it is if someone greet you home, share happiness and anxieties. The best case scenario, we are loving each other as we are aging.

 I carefully and sincerely built up my walls of friends, like walls of echo altar, I prefer to maximize our vibe to the hilt.

 We are all so senstive when someone seems to take offense to our own walls of country, city, community, life circle, etc. above all, we are just little thing of allegiance and faith, also beloved and blessed, a brick.

 Fall’s romance act on me since I’ve dreamed that fairy came and whispered her companion with me. Awake is my mind, fascinating is my fancy. I repeatedly played “ comme amour” for my fairy, rhythmed with the fall’s tone. One slot of moolight emitting through my drape reflected on my face, pale and plain as it was. How could you love me for your angelic smile overshadowing the moon? You’d say it is the devree of Fall, but we alll know we’d part when dream ends.

 As a lonely sojourner I am, few people detect my exists. I’ll always forgive them for their fully-occupied livehood as well as low-profile myself. I wrote down journals as days flies, played pianos as callous hands recovered, dreamed your advert as Fall came. Eventually you camouflaged as fairy, I’d rather never come to anew.

Our slipping into the garden, the moonlight made your delicate countenance to advantage, how dare I even look at you righteously and courageously. bet you the Fall gives the power, night endows the dauntlessness. Notwithstanding I behaved awdwardly, you returned steadfast smile, in which all my nervousness are collapsed, all my boldness are encouraged. a flare of passion popped up , a swirl of fascination boggled my head as we walked down the path. I’d’ve kiss you if it was permitted by Fall. Sojourner of life never stops his travel until he finds companion.

 Hands continuously tapping the keyboard, gently and smoothly. You are indulged in my perform while I am scary of opening eyes and end the piece of music. If time could be stagnant, then I might have played forever. However, my hands trembles, my back stiffens. The last rhythm is for our goodbye, I deliberately longthened the tone, seeing you off. Beads of tears spontaneously dripped along my neck, right into my heart, tendering its sorrow. The place you’d gone, still a slot of moonlight reflected on my face, pale and plain.

 Fall is for me a souvenir to remember the promising land, romance and fairy. Another day is a new day, I aloof start out, covet our reunion somewhere and someday in Fall.

这是从新浪回归后写的第一篇中文博客，已经好久没写中文的东西了，刚看了田原的“双生草莽”，手又痒痒了。

看看自己以前的博客，呵，叙事总是乏味的，被秀人称作“ｌａｌａ，生活真美好的”，就是它了。我总觉得生活是无须纪念的，所以我的博客在趋之若鹜中开场，却未能有什么波澜呈现，平凡人的生活是这样的，明星的只言片语会有人抢着坐沙发，而我们呢。博客跟我们开的最大玩笑，就是我们太把自己当人物了，我会满心欢喜地陈述我的“精彩生活”，可谁又关心呢。根据我的情况，大部分有点波澜的事件大概能被记住３年左右，而琐事的话，只会埋没精彩，不如写点小品文，聊以自慰才好。一个很有文采的朋友的博客设了权限，对我来说是个损失。

像我自评上说的，想作个写东西的，玩音乐的。像秀秀说的，这得要经济基础。为梦想放弃生活，还是为生活放弃梦想，不好说，也不想想。即使经济基础到了，上层建筑也是“黑云压城”的感觉，电子琴再想玩好，就是没戏。文学呢，上了大学，变庸俗了。父亲的那点言传身教也是离我而去。“你英语好啊！当个白领不错！”可从来没把英语当个什么，只是写东西的工具，以后也许会用日语代替的。日文的东西不好写，写好更不易。中日之间的渊源，让我更对日语着迷。就像英国学校一般会开法语课的。

行万里路，读万卷书，写的东西才有内容，偏巧我是很懒的人。难免不谈自己的生活，还是不能免俗。特立独行，有很多办法，愤世是比较低级的一种。还是欣赏纪昀，小品集中透着洒脱，那世上的不公来讽刺就好了，没必要自己也身临其境。

再说田原，挺佩服的，也八五年的，漂亮谈不上，还算有气质。反正看着她搞乐队，出书，拍电影，忙的不亦乐乎。都好吧，看着这样的女生出来，总比选秀啥的强。真不知是谁开了谁的玩笑。呵，是玩独立的本身也是一种磁性吧。

思维习惯了跳跃，这对于写小说来说是一个顽疾。人物创造出来了，却忘了涂色。线索总会出叉头，最后我都被缠住了。还是写小品好，没有啥顾虑，捏个傻子来求爱，揪个疯子狂骂一顿……　

Rain heralded the cold weather. It should be, the rotations of the seasons surprise no one. Rain which poets and essay writers impersonate act out their meanings for life .

Spring , coupled with maturing sun and nurturing soil, it gives birth to the crop-covering farms, immense ranch of grasses and plants, lark-tweedling sky, preyer-roaring forest, as well as the unfrozened lakes with fishes swimming around. All the functions of nature run anew.

Summer, rain pour,  nothing but a spectacle. The Majesty Nature roles the world. It whips the less subjected, rewards the obedient.

Fall, the mellow fruitness, it duos with farmers’ hum , the climax of the gratification and fulfillment . nevertheless it brings about the weather turn-down.

Winter, rarely did it patron around the land. The absence makes heart grow fonder. Its murmurs and whispers haunt us so as to be awake to its come next year.

Thou, no like rain, consistly make me drived and possessed.. why not my being the alternative,  I profess to you that I’d duel for you.. no matter what I’d sacrifice, only the thing matter was and is and will be your advent in my sight. Smile like angel, weep like goddess. Your refined treats melt me down..

I worship rain for its graciousness and mightiness. I woo you for your nobleness and unfathomableness.

Yesterday, rain made presence when I was occupied, neither could I anticipate its disappearance ,nor could I make appointment with it . thee, I ran into ocassionally, I am so fainted that I couldn’t let the obsession go or bring up it again.

Rain tapping the grounds softly while your hurting me badly, clatters faded as time goes away, while my ripping heart twisting and tangling tighter and tigher.

Hope you hear the message rain convey for me. Even though you tread it, deface it and devastate it. You’d be informed.

Spring is less exhilarating for carelessness, summer is more scary for callousness. Fall dump me as orphan for fruitlessness, winter embrace me for its caring feeling for less blessed. Thou, above all, is making days less expected, aim more obscure, me worse-off.

Rain drip all over me , saturate my existence and sprirt, consign me to the mud . Intergrated with it, as a obnoxious person I was, I’d better slip into your garden as a handful of nasty soil. You could ignore me as you’ve always been, while I am of no life to protect you to my bit, my angel. As we are now, I am nastier because of the mix-up, you are prettier than ever under the moolight that accentuate your silty hair, fair countenance, slim figure. Unseemly confrontation would happen as I show up, so I choose to be invisible as I’ve always been.

Is that our destiny?

I am afraid so.

I don’t believe he dumped me as I never exist. Did he ever feel the inclination?

So what, how come you so pissed off, u r just a pair of shoes.

Ok, I’d’ve felt released from all the weight that hunk put on me..somehow I still remember the day he bought me, what a fancy name, Air Jordan retro 92’ .

Forget it, you’d better bury your head in the sand when he kill u.actually you’ve never been so close to him like I did. Since he was absorbed in the internet, we’ve hooked up well. I am tired of his sore eyes, sometimes the medical drops indeliberately drooled all over me.

Glasses, do you just feel upset? I’d rather recollect the memories we’ve shared,he did wear me on the court, dated the cheer leader, all the sweety , wasn’t it?

Get away from me, you are just a pair of emotional shoes.

You are not that insensitive in perspective. I do know that since we were coupled 3 years ago.

Ok,ok, the last thing I wanna do is to recall Old Day Fancies. You probably spent most of your time on the shelf.i’d always been with him, whenever he crammed books, blogged,wrote journals. Sometimes I found I didn’t know him from Adam. How come his conflictions?

Pardon me?

I was just saying he is a confused kid.outside he seems really care about life, but inside----?

Gotta die?

He so despises aimless, society-oriented life, above all, which is just a matter of sophistication.

Your remark is in-depth.

He’d rather be a literature pioneer like he’d dreamed of. Life is never easy when it comes to reality.

Yes.

Ouch! How come the negative atmosphere here, somewhat I here am more like pity chatbox, am  I ?  see,  there’s a “brighter” furture waiting for us. The dumpster is less nasty than ever, if we were really lucky, may we would be picked by the homeless.

Hope not.

Here he comes, it is time we face it.-----------

As items themselves, they do having feelings for love. Nevertheless, human beings rarely do. Allies turn out feuds, sibling rivalries, bequest partition,etc. all of the sudden ,world is nothing but a grave for all the grievance and indignity. We advocate as we are well-cultured, we fight as we are babarian. I am scary of being a social animal.

Kinds of people write blogs, flaunting the rhetorical expressions, jumping on the bandwagon, or just getting rid of realities. Where am I ? could I be more trash?

The hum of Eric Cartman gloats over Kyle’s mischance whenever he performs awkwardly or feel depressed.

“ it sounds like ya really love Jesus,” “ yes, ain’t you love Jesus” “ but it seems ya fall love with Jesus, see, ‘ I love you, Jesus, I wanna cling to your ear and whisper it.’” “ what is the difference?” --------“ ok, we’re gonna make the album platinum” .

“ I cannot believe Cartman made it” “ kid, your mail” “-------- PS: na na na na ne ne ne----“

Is that all amoral? A kid laughs into another’s face.

As we’re getting older , did we become too human ? we’ll sympathize with disadvantaged, rather, patronize on them like we are such affluents; we advocate fairness and squareness, while being agitating as a mediocrity when the award are conferred to because of rigs. So the truth is that we contend fairness towards superiors who set us on the descendent, that we endow our shabby sympathy to interiors make us charitable.

Magic cannot cleanse the nasty sewage for the dimes and quarters left . hardly do beggars appreciate 1 buck, since 10 bucks are of easy access. Our society has rotten since the smug envelops it.

Is sympathy equal to inspiration? Not exactly.

“ I’ve chickened out whenever I saw that girl. I couldn’t talk to her.”

“ so what, casual as usual. Is that hard at all? Dive from the high, look down the gun barrel, pee in the wind.”

“ bro, if you look down the gun barrel, probably you could pee everywhere.”

Symathy paralyses the powerless, so there’s where despise and scorn wedge in, whipping the nag, enlighten the dope.,above all, leave the poor nothing that he can fall back on.

“ you make love as a virgin, I am so carried away, like no one hurts”

Now that even the moulin rouge became a more classical and cultural place where the dancers are considered as elites or celebrities, we’d expect the less dissipation throughout the society. However, it couldn’t live up to our expectations, if anything., even get worse.

“ what did you order?” “  margarita” “ ain’t you a virgin or something?” “lol”------

There are “ virgin “jokes abound on the internet. Whores like it for the their total anti-viginity spirit, college girls like it for their vicariously awkwardness pretending a virgin. Whores are torpid daytime for the livinghood, while college girls are active for the nudity internship, so anyway, we rarely run out of sluts, as it was, when I go shopping I even immunize myself against the chic chicks for the sake of health.(lol).

Some girls are running too far along this road, while so many a girl get on to life by their inborn gifts. As well as intellect, beauty itself is a talent unquestionably. So the trick is how do belles use it to advantage. Elegance and refined gesture makes the trick work as the flaunted behavior might induce the green snake of jealousy to threaten life.

Everyone love cuties. Rarely do I see a person who is totally apathy to the hotties, tags himself as  a women repeller. Capitalizing on the Archilles heels of even the saintest man, plain woman might do the wonder work..

As a law says, everything that consigns themselves to the competitive mechanism should be optimized and fully-employed in the end. The formulation of this tricky rule is the job of the economists, not grass roots whatsoever.

However, we do apply manifold laws to our practices and daily lifes. Even the most prestigious guru of economics could not make the life better for the mental poor. As it were. Themselves are not affluents spiritually. The most ironic thing to put, one Nobel Prize winner himself short capability of repayment for the mortgage of one luxurious villa advocated his theory throughout the globe, more like a motivational and inspritional guru, less like a discreet and moderate theorist. I highly doubt the influence he’s put on the less civilized countries that took non-sense seriously, as a result, inflation, hype-inflation. It might be overstated that this economist made his own bed, and laid down in it, when the boos presented in the auditorium of the Sweden Royal Institute.

As for mental poor, I refer to people are dedicated themselves to pursuit of material and sensory satisfaction. Somehow, a person filled desires and wants is a miniture of his community , even society.

I’ve been reading” the walden” , as it puts, people stereotypically follow the social patterns ,such as a fixed abode, lavish apparels to show the class, peculiar gadgets which demostrate the tastes,etc. Are these all outstanding , rather , so called” brilliance in the trivialities”? have we stand out of the circle, or still trapped in it?

Life tells us economics. We run out of life to chase for fame, vanity which are merely encumbra nce. There’s a saying: fragrance spreads meters while flagrance miles, let alone the slanders and rumours. We aren’t necessarily occupied by all the troubles and assignments. Is that all the saint laws telling us: we are utilized to the hilt, and we’ll be fulfilled.?

I am short of experience, neither am I a calculating person, so, all the things that cannot be substituted or absent in my life now are laptop, couples of books, mp3, food ,water.and of course the calls from the nature(lol). See, I do a optimization, not guided by the textbooks I’ve crammed, but the economics of the holy life.

What do all the lifes mean? It’s a matter of vanity fair (not)

David thoreau showed us a mode of life which include the unfathomable mystery of the nature and the hamony human beings could attain when they dedicate themselves to the simplicity. Here we say, the book is worthy of  the reputation of the “ Holy Bible” of the Naturism. However, Thoreau was a writer of 18^th centuries when even the most prestigious prophet then couldn’t perceive the competiton we’ve been undergoing nowadays.

Back dated to the days industrialization was starting penetrating the America, Thoreau advocated a freedom out of the bondage of materialism. I believe now the advocacy might’ve made more sense if we took it into serious account.

To be honest, the people around us are ambivalent towards their percepitons and conceptions of the world. On the one hand, they set to survive the concrete jungle by all means. Given the benefit of the doubts, they barely keel over and capsize in the sea of their meanlessness and aimlessness. On the other hand, in the very deep heart, they yearn for the release from the responsibilities, leading the life they’ve never been through. The cottage locates near the lake,where they truly appreciate the waves tapping the bank, stars twinkling clearly , the nature babbling its exist.

I hardly went through the whole book, because of the limited English level, anyway, vicariously did I settle in this context to feel it,